Guy Abandons - Been?... Oh! - collection.

The ballad of Big Richard D. Longest and William Tewshort. (To the tune of "the ballad of big John") I wanna tell the story 'bout Richard D. Longest, he was reputed to be widest and strongest. Everybody knew that he took no stick, and was known in the neighbourhood, as Big Dick. Chorus: Big Dick, Big Diiiiick; Big Fat Dick, Big Dick. He had a little mate called William Tewshort, not so very high, but a real true sport. Some thought him daft and others just silly, and he was known as little Willie. Chorus; Now when Dick and Willie, rolled into Town, to the saloon they strolled, for the big show-down. Lone Stranger was waiting, as dick crashed in, Little Willie just waited, then followed him. Chorus; Lone Stranger stood braced, with his low-slung pair of guns at the ready and a fixed hard stare. "Have you got a problem?" Big Dick growled, as all dived for cover and the daug just howled. Chorus; "You know the reason, it's Mary Lou, "she's leaving me, because of you. Lone Stranger then drew and Big Dick leaped, The guys all groaned and the dames all wept. Chorus; Big Dick smashed down, on a loose floor board, Lone Stranger on the end, in the air just soared. The shot went wide and the howling stopped, and into Dicks lap, the Lone Stranger flopped. Chorus; "Now don't get mad", dick said with glee; "perhaps you'd like, my company". Lone Stranger squirmed and got real mad, Big Dick smilin', said "that's too bad". Chorus; While Dick and Stranger, were out the back, Willie took Mary Lou, a little snack. with nuts and sausage, up stairs he crept, to the room in the attic, where Mary slept. Chorus; Mary Lou first grinned, then got real wild, she first thought him, a little child. He held a stick, with a horses head, which he didn't put down, when he slipped into bed. Chorus; He pulled off the head and Mary beamed, this was a toy of which she'd dreamed; she sighed and moaned till Willie was through, and breathed the chorus, same as you. Chorus. (c)Guy Abandon 1997.


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(Thursday, 19 April, 2018.)