Guy Abandons - Been?... Oh! - collection.Subject: Darwin Awards (1997) Nominee Another nominee for this year's Darwin Award (given posthumously to the individual whose withdrawal from the gene pool significantly advances the evolution of mankind)... Many transmission lines crisscross Connecticut. These are held up by transmission towers of various constructions. Those most commonly installed near urban areas are called "metal ornamental towers" (supposedly prettier than wood towers). Sometimes adventurous folks climb the towers in order to enjoy the view and the night air. Most stay away from the wires and, when they get bored, come back down. Apparently, a man who was forlorn after a recent spat with his girlfriend wanted to clear his head and decided to climb a tower. He stopped for a six-pack to anesthetize himself, went to a tower south of Hartford near I-91, and climbed it. Public Service employees later pieced the story together. The man sat there 60 feet above the highway, drank his beer, and consoled his bruised ego. After 5 beers, he needed to do what most people need to do after drinking 5 beers. It being such a long hike down, he unzipped and did his business right there off the tower. Electricity is a funny thing. One doesn't need to touch a wire in order to get a shock. Depending on conditions, 115,000 volt lines, such as those supported by the tower, could shock a person as far away as 6 feet. When the man "whizzed" near the conductor (wire), the power arced to his "stream" (urine is an excellent conductor of electricity), traveled up to his private parts, and blew him off the tower. The folks at the power company noted a momentary outage on this line and sent repair personnel to determine whether there was any damage. When they got to the scene, they found a very dead man, his fly down, what was left of his private parts smoking, and a single beer left on top of the tower.
(Sunday, 18 August, 2019.)